Orgasmic meditation, also known as OM, is a mindfulness practice that involves stroking the genitals for an extended period of time to reach a state of heightened awareness and pleasure.
When combined with regular meditation practice, such as transcendental meditation or open-heart meditation, orgasmic meditation has many mental benefits and health benefits. It can improve one’s relationship to sex and their partner.
Read on to learn everything you need to know about orgasmic meditation.
Orgasmic meditation is a practice that involves a 15-minute session in which one person, the “stroker,” gently strokes the genitals of the other person, the “strokee.” The stroker uses a specific technique to stroke the underside of the clitoris or the shaft of the penis, and the strokee focuses on their breath and the physical sensation of being touched.
The goal is not necessarily to have an orgasm, but rather to cultivate awareness and presence in the body and to explore the full range of pleasurable sensations. The practice is often described as “non-goal-oriented,” meaning that the focus is on the present moment and the experience of pleasure, rather than on achieving a specific outcome.
While a company known as OneTaste, founded by Nicole Daedone in 2004 San Francisco became popular for making OM focused on female genitalia, the practice dates back millennia before this.
It is a form of meditation focused on exploring and cultivating sexual energy. It can be practiced by people of any gender or sexual orientation looking to enhance their sex life and mindfulness.
Traditional meditation practices often involve sitting in silence and focusing the mind on a specific object, such as the breath or a mantra. Orgasmic meditation, on the other hand, involves physical touch and exploring sexual energy.
While traditional meditation practices can be highly effective for reducing stress, increasing relaxation, and improving overall well-being, orgasmic meditation adds a layer of physical pleasure and connection to the experience.
During an orgasmic meditation session, the stroker and the strokee should sit or lie comfortably on a couch, bed, or meditation cushion. The strokee lies on their back while the stroker sits at their side. It is up to you how you want to be clothed (or lack of clothing!).
The stroker should use a lubricant to gently stroke the underside of the clitoris or the shaft of the penis using a specific technique that involves alternating between firmer and softer strokes. The strokee should focus on their breath and the sensation of being touched, and may experience a range of feelings, including pleasure, arousal, and relaxation.
It is important to note that orgasmic meditation is not about achieving orgasm, and it is perfectly normal for the strokee not to have an orgasm during the session. The goal of the practice is to cultivate awareness and presence in the body and to explore the full range of sensations and pleasure.
Many practitioners enjoy thinking of orgasmic meditation as a physical metaphor for the saying, “it’s not about the destination; it’s the journey that matters.”
This is because orgasmic meditation is a way to bring mindfulness and awareness into one’s sexuality and to cultivate a deeper understanding and appreciation of one’s body and its capacity for pleasure without having a distinct goal in mind.
By focusing on the present moment and the sensation of touch rather than on focusing on achieving a specific outcome, orgasmic meditation can help people enhance their connection and intimacy with their bodies and with their partners.
In addition, by exploring the full range of sensation and pleasure, rather than just focusing on orgasm, orgasmic meditation can help people to broaden their understanding of what constitutes a satisfying sexual experience and to learn to experience pleasure in new and different ways.
There are several potential benefits of orgasmic meditation, including:
- Increased awareness and presence in the body: Orgasmic meditation involves focusing on the present moment and the sensation of touch, which can help to cultivate a greater sense of awareness and presence in the body. This can lead to a more profound understanding of the body’s capacity for pleasure.
- Improved communication and intimacy with partners: Orgasmic meditation requires good communication between the stroker and the strokee and a willingness to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. This can lead to improved communication and intimacy with partners and a greater sense of trust and connection.
- Enhanced sexual pleasure and satisfaction: By exploring the full range of sensation and pleasure, rather than just focusing on orgasm, orgasmic meditation can help people to broaden their understanding of what constitutes a satisfying sexual experience and to learn to experience pleasure in new and different ways. This can lead to increased pleasure and satisfaction during sexual activity.
- Greater self-confidence and self-acceptance: Orgasmic meditation requires a willingness to be vulnerable and to explore one’s own pleasure and sexuality. This can lead to increased self-confidence, self-acceptance, and a greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
- Reduced stress and increased relaxation: Orgasmic meditation focuses on the present moment and the sensation of touch, which can help reduce stress and increase relaxation. This can improve overall well-being and a greater sense of calm and balance in daily life.
If you’re interested in trying orgasmic meditation, here is a step-by-step guide to help you get started:
- Find a comfortable and private place to sit or lie down, with a couch or bed nearby. Choosing a location that is free from distractions and where you feel comfortable and relaxed is essential.
- Sit or lie comfortably with your legs uncrossed and your back supported.
- Invite your partner to sit at your side and apply a lubricant to their fingers. You can use any lubricant you prefer, such as water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based.
- Take a few deep breaths and focus on the sensation of your partner’s touch. As your partner begins to stroke your genitals, try to keep your attention on the present moment and the sense of touch rather than on any specific goal or outcome.
- It’s normal to feel a range of emotions and sensations during orgasmic meditation, and it’s essential to let yourself experience whatever arises. If you feel any tension or discomfort, such as sexual shame, try to take a deep breath and relax into a positive sensation. However, don’t be afraid to interrupt the session to discuss your emotions with your partner. Some readers might also benefit from our article discussing “Is Meditation a Sin?”.
- If you feel any pleasure or arousal, allow yourself to fully experience it and let your partner know how you feel. Orgasmic meditation is not about achieving orgasm but rather about exploring the full range of sensation and pleasure.
- When the session is over, take a few moments to debrief with your partner and discuss any insights or observations you had during the practice. This can deepen your understanding and appreciation of the practice and improve your communication and intimacy with your partner.
It’s important to remember that orgasmic meditation is a practice, and it may take several sessions to get comfortable with the process. The most important thing is to relax, enjoy the experience, and be open to whatever arises.
Being open with your partner is also essential to the process, as orgasmic meditation is just as much about learning to communicate as it is to enhance your mindfulness. With time and practice, you may find that orgasmic meditation becomes an integral part of your mindfulness, physical health and self-care routine.